Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Major Changes Coming

The Hockey Cop Blog will be changing soon.

These will be major changes and may take some time to complete.

Changes will not be discussed at this time.



Details are still being sorted out.

And no, I will let folks know what changes are in store in advance. So back off or I call on a special forces unit!



I appreciate your patience.

Big things underway.

Sincerely:




-Hockey Cop-



In the meantime, I leave you with some pictures for thought.

v

TTFN

A Bad Idea to Salute a Sports Idol



Let me build a scenerio for you.

Maybe you know Tim Tebow. Maybe you don't.



That's him.

Tebow plays quarterback for the NFL Denver Broncos. He is a really good QB in his first 10 starts. He beats out Denver and NFL legend John Elway in stats comparing the first 10 games they each had. There's really not a comparison looking at just the first 10 of the two, which is all we have for Tebow right now. Bleacher Report says:

"In 10 starts, Tebow has 14 touchdown passes, six rushing touchdowns and four interceptions. And perhaps the most intriguing stat considering how much he's been scrutinized about his passing, Tebow has a higher completion percentage at 48 percent.

"Tebow has also engineered five game-winning drives, which ties him with Scott Brunner and Marc Wilson for the most game-winning drives in the first 10 starts."

That is incredible. And those game-winning drives are a thing of beauty. Just check out some video.

Let's get to something that is not a thing of beauty...

No matter what sport or team you pull for, you have to give Tebow props. He has certainly shown with his first 10 starts that he is capable of a legendary career with the NFL. Capable. I didn't say he had achieved it. So let's not do anything too crazy people. Nothing too perminate.

I think you see where this is going.

Okay, we start with an increasingly popular term. "Tebow Time". It, of course, refers to the apparent awesomeness that comes whenever Tim is around. Tebow Time. Now picture the words "Tebow Time" in a cute font. Like, say, font generally reserved for children's books.



No, we are not done.

I started with the clip from Napolean Dynamite because the main character likes to draw. But he's not too good at it.



This is what my friend at Puppatoons would call "nephew art". Art done by someone's nephew but passed off as being good. Granted that was in a movie, but you've seen nephew art in the real world and you know exactly what I'm talking about. On a mural somewhere, maybe at a pizza place. One of those paintings you see and think "I hope they didn't pay someone to do that! It looks like someone's nephew did it." You know. Nephew art.

Still with me?

Now, picture a centaur.



Wait for it. Don't beat me to the payoff.

Last thing to mention before we get to the meat of this post. Have you read some of the posts I've done about the ice girls of the NHL? In particular, have you seen the one about the LA Kings Ice Crew? They are sponsored by Rocco's Old School Tattoo Balm.



"Rocco's Old School Tattoo Balm will rejuvenate your old tattoos to look shiny, colorful and new, while protecting your new tattoo from sun damage, and accelerate the healing process. Try Rocco's Old School Tattoo Balm and you will see the difference immediately and over time your tattoo will look fresh and new all day, everyday. Rocco's Old School Tattoo Balm is the best tattoo balm on the market and endorsed by hundreds of tattoo artist all over the world."

So if you want to keep this looking good...



...go get some Rocco's.

We now have all the elements to properly show you what someone did to their body.

Tim Tebow. The words "Tebow Time" in child-like handwriting. The artwork of Napolean Dynamite. A centaur. And tattoos.

Throw them in a blender and you get...



No, that is not a joke.

I can only assume they lost a bet. Or he (and possibly the tattoo artist) were drunk.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not strictly anti-tattoo. I'm not a huge fan as a general rule, but there are certain places where it works.

A really awesome creation.



Something with personal meaning.



A tattoo of celebrity or sports figure in the genesis of their professional career is not the time to immortalize them on your person. And if you do, maybe not a good idea to do it as a combination of himself and the team mascot where he got his start. But, if you do decide to do that, may I suggest getting someone besides your nephew to do the artwork. And don't add a catch-phrase.

Just a suggestion.

TTFN

NBA's 76ers New Mascot Ideas

Okay, so I've already talked about mascots before. Well, NHL mascots.

I'm not doing a whole big article again, but I have to mention the NBA's Philadelphia 76ers. And their retirement of mascot Hip Hop.

A bunny.



...with happenin' shades...

The team itself said that he was retiring to a Pennsylvania farm.

Seriously? That's the official storyline here? Not he signed on as a coach at his college alma mater, Bunny U? Not he is working for the Easter Bunny to help spread cheer to more than just the citizens of Philly? I'd even go with he was playing in China and couldn't return home. No. He is being retired to a Pennsylvania farm. So, I guess they put him down.

Okay, so rabbit with serious 'tude is out. Who's in?

It will be one of these three potentials.



Hand to Ceiling Cat, those are the three finalists. An old Ben Franklin (with man boobs), a seductive dog that looks like he's hitting on you (with a bell on his head), or a moose on crack.

Where to start.

First of all, there is already a team that has cartoon versions of the founding fathers. The Washington Nationals have the Bobblehead Presidents. Presidents that run a race every game.



That is a great way to do it. They are entertaining. They also look good. They have almost all of their characteristics exagerrated and are literally giant bobbleheads. A fun take on mascoting not duplicated anywhere else. Yet. It looks like Philly might try, but in a very wrong way.

Will the Franklin character (named Big Ben) be a real person or a costumed character? If costumed, will he have those unappealing features seen in the drawing (like the drunk-nose)? I mean, this is a pro-basketball team here, not an activity for seniors in an assisted living center in the Florida panhandle getting hammered on whiskey.

From the 76ers:

One of the most revered figures in American history, and a man who needs no introduction as an honorable representation of this city and nation, "Big Ben" Franklin will now come back to serve Philadelphia yet once again. An avid basketball fan, Big Ben was thrilled to be asked to join Philadelphia sports fans in cheering the 76ers on to greatness. As the Sixers new mascot, he will bring electricity to the Wells Fargo Center, and be a towering presence at Sixers games both figuratively and literally as he stands seven-feet tall.

Okay, 7 feet tall. So a costume. And a 7 foot tall old guy will bring electricity how? And does anyone else find it odd that the team acknowledges Benjamin Franklin is "one of the most revered figures in American history" with "an honorable representation" in their announcement on why they made him a plushy mascot? So the 76ers basically said we know history, but screw it.

Oh, and if you are a Pennsylvania sports fan, you might recognize the name Big Ben as quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles' cross-state rival in the NFL.

Okay, let's go on to The All-American pet, B. Franklin Dogg.

B. Franklin Dogg is a loyal Philadelphia resident who can be seen in artist drawings from the day nestled under the table beside Ben Franklin as he deliberated on the founding of the nation. In the revolutionary fervor of the times, B. Franklin Dogg proudly wore patriotic colonial garb to show his spirit. Over the years, B. Franklin Dogg was occasionally seen playing with a basketball around the historic landmarks of Philadelphia, before finally making his way down Broad St. to the Wells Fargo Center.

Going away from Hip Hop because he's too 90's for you and you come up with Dogg? Dog with two g's? Very modern of you.

We get not just a Franklin mascot, but his dog as well. My goodness. Not even an original looking dog.



Reread the statement. The dog wears patriotic garb? Looks like a bastardized liberty bell helmet to me.

And he looks like he's hitting on me. Those come-hither eyes and the follow-me head-tilt. Add that to his extrovert, flasher jacket and that's B. Franklin Dogg. I am going to take a shower after posting this. I feel unclean.

True, all three candidates have the jacket, but it looks the worst on Dogg. Almost as bad as his collar with a mini bell on it. Just so we have a constant reminder of that bell-hat incase he's not wearing it.

Final thought on the dog: is the team wrong on his jersey in the lower picture? Aren't they called the Sixers and not just Sixer? Maybe it's suspenders holding up his pants overlapping the final 's'. That actually makes it worse. I hope it's a typo.

Okay, now. The last idea on the list.

If you are going to have a moose as a mascot, do it right.



Yeah. Get 'em Mick E. Moose! Yes, it's a play on words and a little corny. But that's about the only corny thing about that mascot. Above is the Winnipeg Jets' mascot who moved up from the AHL when the Manitoba Moose name was retired. That is a good look.

But Phil E. Moose (ugh) looks like he's had a lot of coffee. Or cocaine. Maybe trucker pep pills. Whatever it is, not a good look on the anamorphic moose.

One of the most regal animals to roam the wild, Phil E. Moose certainly fits that bill, standing tall as he represents the Sixers (he stands over seven-feet tall in fact, with the antlers). In his youth, Phil E. Moose would often be seen dunking a basketball with ease, aided by his great height. Throughout his high school, collegiate and professional games, Phil E. Moose was a scoring star, and was excited to learn he had been "traded" to the 76ers in order to entertain fans during games at the Wells Fargo Center.

Never lived in Philly. Only visited once (which was more of a pass through). But I'm pretty positive that moose are not exactly native to the area. I could be wrong here, but is the wild referred to by the team in the statement above Philadelphia? And again, they directly mention how "regal" the animal is before laughing that off to produce a Wally World wannabe. A moose for a team from Manitoba works. From Philly? Eh, not so much.

Another note. He was "traded" to the 76ers. That's "traded" in quotes, just as it appears in the official statement about this potential mascot. Why is that quoted? Was he "traded" / "stolen" ? Like from a zoo? Is there a zoo or game range somewhere missing a overly excited moose? "Traded" / "illegally exported" ? Will this start the great US-Canadian War of 2012 because of a dispute over international livestock smuggling laws? Maybe he was "traded" from Toronto some time ago and just held in a reserve. That explains why the only NBA team in Canada is named after a raptor instead of something more, well, Canadian. Like a moose.

My guess is he was "traded" into "working to pay off a debt". I mean, look at his smile. No teeth. They were most likely busted out the first time Phil backtalked the enforcer sent to his apartment at 3am to "teach him a lesson about paying back the money he owed on time".

Makes sense. Says so right in the statement he played pro-ball and many MANY pro-athletes make horrible financial decisions leading to bankrupcy. Bankrupcy leads to loan sharks. And not paying off the loan shark leads to being excited to have been "traded" to the 76ers in order to entertain fans during games at the Wells Fargo Center. That entertainment is done with no teeth after a poor choice of words at 3am in one's apartment when confronted by a loan shark's enforcer.

That grin is a hollow, meaningless grin hiding his secret torture and fear. The eyes mirror the torment of his broken soul with no life left flicking within the painfilled pupils; the windows of dead man-moose walking.

...I never realized how hardcore the Philadelphia 76ers were. They kill off their old mascot and recruit a new candidate in a quote - "trade".

That's probably the saddest part: realizing that at least two (hopefully all three) of these candidates will not make it onto the court. The team is only looking for one mascot. So what will happen to the losers?

Will they be "traded" to a farm in Pennsylvania too?

TTFN

Monday, December 5, 2011

NHL Realignment Set

After discussion, the NHL Board of Govenors approved a realignment of the teams following the Thrashers move to Winnipeg. Changes will take effect for the 2012-13 season.

There were two plans. One was four conferences instead of six divisions. The other was the current format switching Winnipeg to the west and moving Detroit, Columbus or Nashville to the east. They went with the four conference plan (which was spearheaded by Nashville reps).

Two conferences on the east will have seven teams each while west coast teams will have eight teams each. Playoff format is still to be ironed out, but it will be four from each conference with the first round being inter-conference play only. The conferences have not been named.

Every team will play in every arena at least once. That means more travel for all, but the League promises that the schedule would be more efficient with every team playing in every city. Teams will play home-and-home series against all nonconference teams.

In the seven-team conferences, teams would play six times -- three home, three away -- for a total of 36 inter-division games. In the eight-team conferences, teams would play either five or six times in a season on a rotating basis -- for a total of 38 inter-division games.

The teams in the seven-team conferences will have 46 out-of-conference games, including 23 at home and 23 on the road. The teams in the eight-team conferences will have 44 out-of-conference games evenly split between home and away.

Here's the breakdown.



The first conference in the east includes the New Jersey Devils, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, New York Rangers, New York Islanders, Washington Captials, and Carolina Hurricanes.



The other east conference is the Boston Bruins, Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Maple Leafs, Ottawa Senators, Buffalo Sabres, Florida Panthers, and Tampa Bay Lightning.



Western conference one (teams with Central or Eastern timezones) are Detroit Red Wings, Columbus Blue Jackets, Nashville Predators, St. Louis Blues, Chicago Blackhawks, Minnesota Wild, Dallas Stars, and Winnipeg Jets.



The final conference of Mountain or Pacific timezone teams consists of the Los Angeles Kings, Anahiem Ducks, Phoenix Coyotes, San Jose Sharks, Vancouver Canucks, Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers, and Colorado Avalanche.



All jerseys are from the Sportslogos.

Quick observations.

First, what will happen with the All Star Game? Will it be totally jumbled? Will it be conference 1&2 versus 3&4 every year or will it mix up so it's 1&3 v 2&4 one year then 1&4, 2&3 the next? Will it go back to US & Canada vs the World?

Speaking of seeding for events, how will the Playoffs work out? Right now, it looks like the top four teams in each conference will play each other in a 1-4 and 2-3 in format then those two winners play in the second round giving each conference a champion. It's the third round where things get tricky. They will be the conference champions and how will they be seeded? The two 7-team conferences playing each other? A new seeding for the third round based on performance and not tied to which conference the team came from? That will not likely be answered until the GM meeting in March. Personally I'd love to see a re-seeding with a 1-4, 2-3 ordering going on for round 3 right before the Stanley Cup Finals.

Winnipeg may feel screwed a bit in this because they are the only Canadian team in their conference meaning less matches against fellow Canadians than any other team from Canada. I guess it makes sense since the western conferences were decided based on timezones, but it still seems like a bit of a shaft against the Jets.

Some more odd conference settings. The Florida teams are in the same conference as Canadian teams while skipping over an entire cluster of teams in the middle of the country including Carolina, Washington, New York, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. Part of that was probably to keep long-standing rivalries in tact (PIT-PHI, NJD-NYR), but it still seems odd to me.

I do love the idea of seeing every team every year in all arenas. That definately helps spread the game out over the country and build more rivalries, not letting those heated rivalries them get stale due to a passage of time between meetings, and more evenly spliting the level of competition.

One thing that doesn't make a lot sense to me is the fact that there are 16 teams in the Eastern time zone versus 14 in the other time zones combined. Seems like Detroit and Columbus kinda got the raw end of the deal. Why aren't the two eight team conferences in the east with the remaining fourteen split into seven in the west?

The reason is probably to keep the Detroit rivalries (particularly with Chicago) alive by keeping them conference opponents. But then why not 15 in the east to include Columbus (eight and seven conference split) and 15 in the west? That doesn't make a ton of sense to me. And perhaps Columbus doesn't like it either. "I think there were more than two or three teams not happy with the current situation,” Columbus general manager Scott Howson said. “This was a compromise that really satisfies everybody to a large extent.” Sounds like a man who didn't get what he wanted, but can't really say that outloud.

We shall have to see what happens. Final note...

Bettman said the NHLPA has expressed concerns about the new plan and that he will discuss it with union chief Donald Fehr before implementing it. Bettman said the change doesn’t need union approval, a stance the NHLPA contests.

“Realignment requires an agreement between the league and the NHLPA,” union spokesman Jonathan Weatherdon said. “‘We look forward to continuing our discussions with the league regarding this matter.”

Hmmm. A showdown between the NHLPA and the NHL? Maybe. Who's right?

Let's look to the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

The NHL is probably looking towards Article 16, League Schedule.

16.3 Length of Season. Without the NHLPA's advance written consent, the Regular Season will be scheduled over a period of not less than 184 days. Each Club will play at least one (1) NHL Game during the first three (3) days of the Regular Season and at least one (1) NHL Game during the last three (3) days of the Regular Season. Prior to finalizing the Regular Season schedule, the League shall provide the NHLPA with a draft schedule. The NHLPA shall be given an opportunity to comment on the schedule. This opportunity for the NHLPA to comment shall be provided at a point when the NHL has the ability to adjust the schedule based on the NHLPA's comments and shall include a meeting at the NHL's offices with the Vice President, Scheduling, Research & Operations (or his equivalent) responsible for assembling the schedule and a League attorney. The League will give good faith consideration to specific scheduling requests made by the NHLPA and will provide an explanation if any of the NHLPA's requests will not be accommodated; however, the final decision making authority shall remain with the League.

The League is going to be keeping all of those requirements (notification, a meeting, 184 days, blah blah blah) and will probably quote the last line saying that the final decision making authority shall remain with the League.

The NHLPA will probably look towards Article 22, the Competition Committee.

22.1 The NHL and NHLPA will establish a Player/Club Competition Committee (the "Competition Committee") for the purpose of examining and making recommendations associated with issues affecting the game and the way the game is played. The issues to be considered by the Competition Committee will include: (1) the development, change, and enforcement of Playing Rules; (2) Player equipment regulations and standards; (3) Player dressing room and in-arena facility standards; (4) the scheduling of games played outside a team's home arena and facility standards relating to said games (e.g., "outdoor" games, neutral site games, etc.); and (5) issues relating to schedule, compression and start times for games. By mutual agreement the NHL and NHLPA can expand the issues to be considered by the Competition Committee.

The biggest argument to be made here relate to the scheduleing of games under part (5) and "examining and making recommendations associated with issues affecting the game".

It seems the CBA actually kinda contradicts itself upon these findings. On one hand, the Competition Committee (a group having NHLPA and NHL representatives) is suppose to discuss the schedule while the actual scheduling part of the agreement says the NHL has final say and only need listen to requests from the NHLPA. I am by no means an expert on the CBA and there maybe an article or sub-article that directly addresses this, but I didn't immediately find it. I could be very wrong here.

But, I think the NHLPA is right here and realignment needs their consent. A reshuffling of the entire layout of the teams and the shakeup of the playoff format seems to be an issue that affects the game and how it is played. The schedule part in Article 16 seems to be talking about individual schedule changes here and there or "petty changes" to the overall season schedule, not a monumental shift in the entire structure of the scheduling based on realignment.

This could get juicy, but I would imagine two things keep it tame and without public fireworks. First of all, I don't think the NHLPA will greatly protest to this realignment plan anyway, so no need to pull the veto card just to prove they can. Also, I don't think the NHL will intentionally do anything to really tick off the NHLPA since the lockout just happened a few seasons ago. And seeing the NBA and NFL recent struggles will probably lead to much more open discussion than would be needed between the two parties, regardless of who's technically right. The NHL (or any sports league) can't handle the PR nightmare that would happen if there were lockout talks. Fans would give up so much quicker on a pro-sports league now compared to other times because of the NBA and NFL stoppages.

To be fair: Bettman didn't say he was going forward no matter what the players say or anything like that, just that they don't really need the NHLPA's permission. The NHLPA also said they would continue the talks and didn't say they were thinking of fighting the realignment tooth-and-nail. In fact, there appears to be an open dialouge already going on that's benefiting both parties. But there is some areas where the two are not seeing eye to eye. Bettman said so. This may be why we have the teams and conferences have been announced, but the playoff format is not ready yet. That may be the place of disagreement between the two parties. I don't know this to be true, but it's a theory.

TTFN