Hockey Cop Archives: The Edmonton Oilers Octane

The Edmonton Oilers Octane.

We are taking a look at the first NHL Canadian cheer team to help countdown to the Winnipeg Jets season opener.

Of course, that was a teaser from their introduction year, last season.

This is a look at the 2011-2012 Octane final audition. It took place in a mall.

It's a great marketing move to get people thinking Oilers hockey again, even if it seems a little bit more objectifying than normal. But, the girls know what they are getting into with a team like this. I mean, people (okay, guys) will be checking them out all the time, so this should be fine having the final auditions in public like that. They seem excited, so I'm going with it's okay.

I'm assuming they decided beforehand that everyone would make it. I do wonder if someone screwed up royally and had the coaches and judges second guessing that decision at the last minute. Someone who just froze with stagefright or something, but there was nothing they could do because that would be horrible to say "Everyone is an Octane girl, except you Britney. You need to leave the stage and turn in your sports bra."

I am hoping there's not a Britney on the 2011-2012 team pictured below because that would be just mean of me to single her out.

I can tell you that last year's group of girls had someone with what has to be one of the most bizarre day jobs. I'm not saying the job itself is odd, but unexpected for a dancer.

I'm going to present a few of the girls with something unique or cool in their bios. See if you can pick out which one is also a funeral director and embalmer. She sees dead people then dances at Oiler games.

Here are the candidates:

First up, Catriona. Wonderfully unique name.

This jolly elf listens to Christmas music all year long. Also, she enjoys cooking and baking. Brownie points there. Literally.

Next up: Jonessa.

She claims if she could eat a certain food every single day, it would be peach shrimp.

Rachael is our next Octane girl.

Sorta an Aussie. She lived in Australia for 9 months and was the Canadian Silver medalist in National Synchronized Figure Skating Championships in 2008.

The next member of the team we'll meet is Rosie.

Possibly the smallest member of the team. I say that because she has to shop in the kids sections because she doesn't fit the ladies section.

Finally, Whitney.

This girl has a pet bearded dragon and is a huge camper.

The Octane have quite a cross section of girls working for them.

By the way, the funeral dictor and embalmer is Rosie.

It goes to show that just because you've got a girl cheering with pom-poms, she's not an airheaded idiot girly-girl. I'm not saying everyone on the Octane team would be comfortable with, well, dead bodies all day long, but they (like all cheer and ice squads) are made up of a group of diverse girls from all walks of life.

Plus, they are pretty.

Wait. I swear I've seen this before...

Of course! Drop Dead Gorgeous. A film starring Kristie Alley, Ellen Barkin, Kirsten Dunst, and Denise Richards. I like this movie a lot. To the point of I actually own it.

It's a dark comedy about a small town beauty pagent where certain contestants will do anything to win. You can view the trailer here, or check out the opening of the movie below. If you wait until the 6:50ish mark, you'll see what I mean about having seen the Rosie bio about dancing/funeral director-ing thing before.

The only difference is that Kirsten Dunst doesn't do the embalming. Rosie does. Ponder that a minute while I ponder something else. Remember when Jonessa said she liked peach shrimp? That sounds horrible. Maybe it's not what I'm thinking. I hate shrimp. I hate peaches. Maybe it's not the two just mixed together.

Never mind. It is just the two together. Ewwww...

Let's look at the girls in some dancing gear. Again, the webpage isn't updated for this season yet, so it's last year's roster.

And how would they look in casual wear? (Or in a different pose in their dancer gear if they forgot their nice casual wear for the photo shoot.)

This team seems to be more of a straight up cheer squad instead of an ice crew. I'm okay with that. Here are the girls in action.

This team is proud to be the first NHL cheer team in Canada. They are lead by a doctor, Dr. Mailie Harris. You saw her in the video. In case you're curious, she practices chiropractic with her sister and that's Dr. Harris pictured below.

The team, being a more cheer oriented squad than an ice crew, needs some moves. The Octane get their moves from Margeaux Morin, team choreographer.

I have no idea how to pronounce that name. I'm guessing "Mar-guin-ex". I don't think that's right. I hope I never meet her because I'll screw up her name or accidently call her Ms. Moron instead of Morin. Maybe I'll just screw up a little bit and call her Ms. Motrin. By the way, that's the only thing that works for me if I get a headache. Motrin.

Well, any ibuprofen.

Dare I say I'd have a much better time pronouncing Assistant Coach Amber-Leigh Polovich's name better.

She was with the cheerleaders of the Edmonton Eskimo (that's Canadian football) before joining the Octane.

Am I the only one who sees this (the picture below) when I hear eskimo cheerleaders?

I'm assuming that's not what the actual uniforms look like. So what do Canadian football cheerleaders look like in Edmonton?

Yes. I'm on board. So what if they have play the game on a longer field? More sidelines for cheerleaders. So, as a nod to Canadian football, can I have some more please?