I occurs to me that I should get her a romantic gift. Now, I'm not a great gift-giver. I try, but I'm not always so great.
I've narrowed down the field to a list of things I will NOT get for Stephanie.
TOOLS
I'm going to avoid anything that involves manual labor. Any household items for chores or anything that would involve breaking a sweat is off the list. Even though there are some new items she's indicated she could use, they are still associated with work. Work is never romantic. Sorry Stephanie. Maybe for Christmas I'll get you that miter saw from Home Depot you've had your eye on.
ADVERTISED JEWELRY
I believe jewelry is a romantic gift, I've given Stephanie a few pieces before including last year. But, it wasn't anything from Shane Co. or big brand retailer. It was a ring from the Soloman Brothers, a one-of-a-kind beauty. I'll have to take a picture and post it for the rest of you. But, if I decide to go the jewelry route, rest assured it will not be one "designed" by a celebrity. What the hell does Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman know about necklace designs? This would just prove I am not an original because Stephanie is unique and deserves more than the same shiny thing every other woman on Metro will be wearing.
WORKOUT GEAR
Stephanie has gotten into the whole working out thing, which is great. She seems happier and I know she's healthier. This gift almost makes sense, but does it say, "Here is some extra motivation to get your big-ol' behind to the gym"? I would like to avoid sending that message since it is certainly not true. Plus, good Lord save my soul if I got the wrong size athletic top or spandex pants.
GIFT CERTIFICATE
I have done this before and I am embarrassed about it. "I know nothing about you, so here. Go buy yourself something from a store I think girls like you shop in." Now, sometimes a gift certificate is perfectly appropriate. Me, I would love a gift certificate to places I frequent or would like to frequent but don't because it's a "luxary item" (such as Cold-Stone or Moe's). But for an anniversary, I'm going to try a personal touch. Plus, I would like to at least give the impression I spend more than, oh, three minutes thinking about the gift.
A SELF-HELP BOOK
We all fight personal battles. But I don't think giving a gift that would seem to highlight them would be in the best interest of the relationship or my health. If there are problems Stephanie needs help with, our anniversary is not the time to remind her of those. But that won't be a problem because I think she's perfect anyway!
A PET
I was thinking of those commericals and movies where the man surprises a woman with an adorable puppy or a cuddly little kitten. While a cute gift, I don't want to add to her increasing responsibility along with her other cat Moki. Plus, I don't want to add bills--veterinarian, food, toys, litter. That's money than can be spent on me. I mean herself! New handbags and shoes. That will ultimately get destroyed by Moki anyway.
A STUFFED ANIMAL
This would be just tacky. Stephanie, in case you don't know her, is not 12 years old. Many of these animals are the one that comes with a set of perfume, chocolates or any product that doesn't need a stuffed monkey to make a sale. Flowers are incredibly romantic. Flowers held by a dog with a heart on his chest that say "I RUFF YOU" is a crime against common sense. Plus, Stephanie has a stuffed animal she's had since 1984 (date might be wrong, but a long time) that she loves for sentametal reasons. An by loves, I mean loves more than anything. Moki, her family, me; all secondary to Inky the polar bear. I understand that. Inky doesn't complain or create problems. I did give her a stuffed moose once, but that was not an anniversary gift and more of an homage to a stuffed moose in my room.
A GAG GIFT
I love gag gifts. There are simply hilarious -- for the first three minutes. And usually just of for me. One the giggling subsides (okay, once MY giggling subsides), there's Stephanie left with a mug that says "Work Sucks" when you push the button on the handle. So I've basically given her a new dust collector. Plus, I don't want Stephanie to say this in the near future: "Remember that guy I used to date who bought me the 'I THINK STORMTROOPERS ARE SEXY' t-shirt?"
Well there it is. A short list of things that Stephanie can NOT expect to see for this year's anniversary. I hope she likes whatever it is I do get her.
I'll be sure to post it after she recieves it because I know Stephanie occassionally looks at this blog.
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